Chabad couple moves to Venus after signs of alien life detected

By, Sabrina Miller, Editor

A Chabad house has been set up on Venus after alien life was detected on the planet a few hours ago.

The couple in charge of the Venus Chabad house wanted to make sure that “aliens were able to access the full breadth and depth of Jewish life“. They admitted to our reporter that they hoped to provide “a meaningful Jewish experience” to all of the aliens discovered on Venus, no matter how frum they are.

“At Chabad we don’t discriminate between those who are religious or irreligious, human or alien, everyone is welcome into our home.

We will be offering all of our usual services to the aliens on Venus. Kosher food, Shabbat services, Friday night dinners, Jewish learning classes and our incredibly popular ‘text 4 chicken soup’ service: though transportation delays are to be expected as we import all of our chicken soup from North West London.

Our Rebbe taught us to spread the light of Judaism around the world… and now we have the privilege of taking the Rebbe’s message to our Jewish brothers and sisters on Venus. Admittedly we may struggle to find a Jewish school for our children, but we will sacrifice anything for the privilege of supporting Jews around the globe… and galaxy.

Featured Image: Unsplash : Jeremy Thomas

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