Jewish student firms Birmingham so they don’t have to bother making any friends

By, Sabrina Miller, Editor

Breaking: another Jewish student has decided to firm Birmingham to avoid stepping out of their comfort zone. 

Though the numbers dipped slightly this year, with only 98% of the community firming the University, prospective students are still confident that socialising with strangers can be avoided.

Jessica, a Yavneh College student explained how she planned to avoid meeting new people.  

“Firstly, I’ll make sure I request Kosher accommodation so I don’t have to live with people I don’t already know.

She continued,”the minute I arrive I plan to constantly stare at the floor, so strangers aren’t prompted to talk to me. I will make sure to interact with people I went to school with, and no one else, and pray to G-d we don’t fall out with each other. 

After three years at Birmingham I plan to move into a nice house in the suburbs with the same five friends I went to University with and hopefully never meet another person again.” 

Ben, an Immanuel College sixth former, candidly told Oy Vey Magazine that “university is not about making friends, it is about spending time with the people you went to school with… obviously.” 

Ben continued: “I know I haven’t technically gotten in yet because I am still waiting for my results, but I have already signed a house for second year to make sure I don’t have to worry about talking to people I don’t already know.” 

Featured image: Unsplash/ Gemma Chua-Tran

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