Israel to blame for police brutality, the Black Death, and people who leave the toilet seat up, claims Rebecca Long-Bailey

By, Jonathan Korn, Editor

Rebecca Long-Bailey faces criticism from across the Jewish community after retweeting an article suggesting that the Israeli Defence Force is to blame for racist police brutality in the United States. In response to allegations of anti-Semitism, Long-Bailey told Oy Vey that:

“This is all just so Peake (damn you Maxine, you’ve really screwed me over here). Why do some people find it hard to believe that the IDF, which didn’t exist until 1948, taught American police forces how to be racist? I mean, it’s not like violence against black people in America existed before the creation of Israel, is it?” 

Pretty shocking, right? However, it seems these comments are just the tip of the iceberg. Further deleted Tweets seen exclusively by our magazine reveal that at various points throughout her career, the former Shadow Education Secretary has accused Israel, amongst other things, of being at fault for: the black plague, neo-classical architecture, punk rock, the advent of artisan coffee shops, the Scottish independence movement, that time she stubbed her toe on the floor, and those irritating people who leave the toilet seat up after going to the loo.

Supporters of Long-Bailey, whose bios have quickly been altered from “Jeremy Corbyn is a lifelong anti-racist” to “Rebecca Long-Bailey is a lifelong anti-racist”, have refused to back down in light of these revelations. Some are insisting that they are far better arbiters of what is and isn’t anti-Semitic than the “Biased” Jewish community, whose members are all “in the employ of the Zionist lobby.” 

One prominent (and unnamed) ex-Labour leader has joined the clamour, accusing Sir Keir Starmer, who fired Long-Bailey for her comments, of “failing to understand American irony,” and demanding Long-Bailey’s reinstatement to the Shadow Cabinet. 

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