BDS-Movement punishes naughty Netanyahu for annexation plans

By, Jonathan Korn, Editor

The annual conference of the Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions Movement took a surprising turn yesterday when delegates voted unanimously to whip naughty Israeli Premier Benjamin Netanyahu for his saucy annexation proposals.

The group, which seeks to persuade institutions to boycott Israeli goods, updated its Twitter page last night by adding a picture of some handcuffs and an aubergine emoji to its bio.

Israel’s blockade of the Gaza strip placed the Gazan people in bondage, but “not the fun kind”, according to the group. BDS have also accused the Israeli government of being naughty in its attempts to annex parts of the West Bank, and claims that “Naughty boys and girls need to be punished”.

Omar Barghouti, the group’s founder, told Oy Vey Magazine that the proposed punishment was intended to draw attention to the plight of the Palestinian people. 

“The Palestinians have been fucked, quite literally, by Israel, repeatedly and violently, so, we thought Netanyahu might like to see what it’s like to be dominated himself for a change.”

It was later pointed out that the attendees of the annual conference were overwhelmingly British university students, who tend to spend their time either marching for Palestinian rights or having experimental sex. One young attendee admitted to Oy Vey that he simply thought it would save time to combine the two. 

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