Cha‘bad’ renames itself Cha‘good’

By, Jonathan Korn, Editor

ChaBad has at last responded to criticisms that its messaging is too negative by announcing that it will undergo a name change. 

From next Friday, ChaBad will change its name to ChaGood, effective immediately. In a statement, the Jewish organisation claimed that “the name was proving too big a distraction. We kept having students come up to us wondering why our organisation was being so self-critical, given the work we were doing. One even asked us if the name was a cry for help.”

The statement continued: “Guests stopped coming to us for meals or praying in our homes. Everyone became convinced that we were a malevolent organisation, committed to poisoning young people’s minds. All because of one syllable in our name.

In the end, the decision was easy. Now, everyone will know just how wonderful we are. It’ll be in the name!” 

One Chabad Rebbetzin confirmed to Oy Vey Magazine that the organisation’s name had been misleading students for generations, and was therefore indirectly to blame for hundreds of Jews marrying out.

In the wider Chabad world, the announcement was met with scenes of joy, with one tearful Chabad couple proclaiming: “It’s what the Rebbe would have wanted”.

However, more cynical observers noted that it would take more than a name change for ChaBad to become any better than ChaMediocre for people who don’t conform to its religious ideals. 

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