We’re all about equality, say G-d’s chosen people

By, Jonathan Korn, Editor

God’s Chosen People have insisted that they believe Jews and non-Jews to be “Completely equal in every way”. 

The statement, issued by the society of those “exalted above all other nations”, reassures those not of the Jewish faith that “we are all God’s creations” and are all “special in our own individual ways.” 

The statement continued. 

“Whilst we obviously believe God chose us uniquely, and that only Jews witnessed the ultimate Divine revelation, and that being Jewish is way better than being anything else (just look at all the Nobel Prizes!), we think the people calling us elitist have got completely the wrong end of the stick.”

Rabbi Goldberg offered a further explanation. In an exclusive statement to Oy Vey Magazine he clarified that “it’s not that Jewish people are better than all other people (that’s definitely not what G-d meant). It’s just that Jewish people were chosen (above all other people) to spread G-d’s divine message on earth. In fact I would argue that being part of the chosen people is a burden not a privilege because Jews (and Jews alone) are tasked with this immense, unique and vital responsibility.”

Although mainstream Jewish groups rallied around in support of the statement, some members of the community were more reluctant to concede parity. Already, suspected Jewish graffiti has appeared outside a church in Surrey, with the inscription:

“All religions are equal, but some religions are more equal than others”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s