Don’t watch Game of Thrones, says God! (According to Gematria)

By, Jonathan Korn, Editor

Step 1: Work out the Gematria of Iron Throne, which is 329. Iron makes 57 and throne makes 265.

Step 2: Calculate the Gematria of Tyrion, since he is undoubtedly the funniest character in the world of Westeros. The Gematria is 275.

Step 3: Find the Gematria of Arya Stark, which is 212 + 370, so 582. 

Step 4: Take the square root of The Iron Throne, which is 18.1383571472.

Step 5: Subtract the root of Tyrion, which is 16.5831239518, and you get 1.5552331954.

Step 6: Round this up to 2 for convenience. 

Step 7: Multiply by half of the value of Arya Stark, since Arya is incomplete without John Snow by her side. 2 times by 291, which you realise just gets you back to where you started at 582.

Step 8: Wonder whether God really makes basic mathematical errors like that, but plough on anyway. 

Step 9: Find the gematria of Yezer Harah, (the evil inclination). The answer is 575.

Step 10: Take it away from 582 and you get 7.

Step 11: There are seven deadly sins, meaning watching Game of Thrones is sinful.

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