What kind of Jew are you? Take this nifty quiz to find out!

By, Jonathan Korn, Editor

  • You see someone breaking Shabbat- what do you do?
  1. Throw the nearest heavy object in their direction.
  2. Tut disapprovingly, then immediately tell every single person you know.
  3. Do nothing as you drive past. 
  4. What even is Shabbat anyway? For me, it’s more of a state of mind, a sense of being being connected to nothing and everything at the same time. 
  •  What would you do if your child wasn’t religious? 
  1. What child?
  2. Send them to Hasmonean and hope it kicks some sense into them.
  3. Pretend to be disappointed then punch the air in relief. Go to Nando’s to celebrate.
  4. Give them a long lecture about why left-wing Judaism needs pioneers like them to practice Tikkun Olam. 
  • What’s your favourite restaurant? 
  1. The home. I come home from shul and the food is on the table. I just assumed it got there by divine command. Great service.
  2. Samis, the White House, Hummus Bar, or any of the other 90 identical restaurants along the Golders Green Road.
  3. Sushimania, Pizza Hut, Nobu, The Ivy…anywhere nice really. 
  4. Ethos or some other weird vegan place where the food is sourced sustainably and its aura is cleansed before serving.
  • What’s your favourite film? 
  1. You think we have a TV in our house? 
  2. Fiddler on the Roof. On repeat. Obviously. Interspersed with Entebbe on special occasions.
  3. Anything by Woody Allen. So we can moan about anti-Semitism without actually having to do Judaism.
  4. Suffragette, or something else we can pontificate about.
  • What’s your favourite place in the entire world? 
  1. Bnei Brak. Or the maternity ward.
  2. The Conservative Friends of Israel event at the Tory party conference.
  3. A hotel in Netanya, as far from the Kosher hotel as it is humanly possible to be.
  4. Brighton. 
  • How often do you attend synagogue? 
  1. How often do I go home would be a better question?
  2. Three times a day, rarely on holiday though.
  3. Twice a year, and even then, only for the last hour on Yom Kippur after a late lunch.
  4. Most weeks- it’s only a 5-minute drive.
  • What do you think of the state of Israel? 
  1. Boo!
  2. Yay!
  3. Great holiday destination.
  4. Whilst obviously I support the right of the state of Israel to exist, elements of the Netanyahu government’s policy towards the Palestinians are problematic. We should all be pushing for negotiations to resume with the ultimate goal of achieving a two-state solution, the only just and sustainable resolution to the conflict. Within this framework, illegal Israeli settlements should be disbanded as they contravene the Fourth Geneva Convention and UN Resolution 2334…
  • Dream date? 
  1. A hotel lobby.
  2. Anywhere on Golders Green Road (as long as it’s between Novellinos and Carmelli)
  3. The pub
  4. An exhibition on sustainability and reducing our carbon footprint.

Answers on the next page.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s