Maccabees capitalise on oil prices; stock up for all eight nights

By, Sabrina Miller, Editor

A group of ancient Jewish warriors have decided to stock up on oil following the historic crash in prices yesterday. 

Judah the Maccabee, commenting on his decision admitted he “couldn’t resist such a sweet deal”. 

In an exclusive interview with Oy Vey, Judah the Maccabee explained his decision further! 

“We wouldn’t want to be in a situation where we recapture The Temple but run out of oil for the Menorah. It would be an absolute nightmare if we had, let’s say, enough oil to last one night, but not enough oil to last eight nights and then be forced to rely on the powers of an omni-benevolent deity to make the oil last longer.”  

Mattathias Macabbee added, “He got such a metsye, I’m so proud of my boy.” 

Following the innovative decision by Judah the Maccabee, the Jews will hopefully be able to re-claim The Temple and have enough oil to last eight nights . The miracle of Chanukah therefore, was not that one single barrel of oil lasted eight nights, rather, that eight barrels of oil cost the same amount as one barrel of oil (saving the Maccabees an absolute fortune)! 

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