Man from J-Swipe who was ‘willing to convert’ isn’t so willing now that he knows circumcision is involved

By, Sabrina Miller, Editor

J-Swipe hottie Chris, who made it clear on his profile he was ‘willing to convert’, doesn’t seem as ‘willing’ now it’s been explained to him what conversion actually entails. 

A Jewish North West London girl’s dreams were shattered once again when it was discovered that the love of her life was surprisingly reluctant to dedicate the next seven years of his life to halacha just for her. Gutted, the heartbroken single reported she was ‘confident that Chris would convert because he’d promised it on his profile, and people never lie on their profiles’. 

Chris, who was ‘desperate to get out of the single market before Britain does’, decided to download J-Swipe after more traditional dating apps like Tinder and Bumble weren’t proving fruitful. 

‘First I downloaded it as a joke (a Jewish friend from school signed me up), but one thing led to another and before you know it, I’d emailed the Bet din three times asking if I could start the Orthodox conversion process’. In all honesty, I was more than happy to spend years of my life considering the ins and outs of Torah law, Talmud and Rabbinic commentary (anything for a quick shag), but the minute I found out there was circumcision involved I was out of there!’

Chris hasn’t lost all hope of finding true love however, and since deleting J-Swipe has downloaded MuzMatch. Unfortunately, it appears as though Chris hasn’t done much research about the Muslim conversion process and he’s in for a nasty shock when it’s time to chip chop! 

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